Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

Article

Poetry Corner: ‘Tis For the Readers That We Make Efforts to Write

Article, Ask VNR, Poetry Corner

dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2894
Ask a Nut Butter Specialist: What Should I Have Done Earlier to Avoid My Crushing Addiction to Goth Baddies?

Article, Ask a Nut Butter Specialist

almond butter, baddies, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2890, goth
Tom Hardy’s 2nd Rap Album to Include Features with Grimace, Hamburgler, Wendy, and Burger King

Article, Media, Scullery & Swill

Bane, fastfood, music, rap, Tom Hardy
God Created Bigfoot in Man’s Image, with Help From a Chupacabra and Some Weed

Article, Promotional Content, Religion

almond butter, Bigfoot, chupacabra, God, peanut butter, weed
VNR Software Creates First Ever Moral Fitness Assessment for CEOs!

Article, Media, Technology

app, CEO, personality test, resume
Ayn Rand Reviews: Paw Patrol: The Dino Movie (2026)

Article, Film Reviews

Ayn Rand, dinosaurs, Paw Patrol
Lasers, Bear Traps, Exploding Cigars Are Latest Deterrents from ADT’s New Brand of Feminine Protection: InvulneVag

Article, Fashion, Healthcare, Promotional Content, Technology

ADT, safety, underwear, vagina
After Microwaving Hotdogs for Dinner, Dad Imagines Future as Michelin Chef

Article, Daily Life, Scullery & Swill

dad, hotdogs, restaurant
By 50 and 9 We’ll Hold the Line

Article, Not Funny, Society and Humanities

America, death, ICE, murder
Martian Biologists Begin Nonchalant Butt-Stuff With Monkeys to Stop Human Illiteracy

Article, Science, Society and Humanities

aliens, butt, butt-stuff, literacy, monkeys, probes
White Nationalist Still an Asshole

Article, Society and Humanities

Asshole, Nazis, racism, whiteness, whitey
Elbo The Muppet Interviews Jeff Bezos, Immediately Discovers Depression & Heroin

Article, Interviews, Journalism and Ethics
Bad-Boy Researcher at M.I.T. Invents New Gun That Goes “Pow! Pow!” Instead of “Bang! Bang!”

Article, Society and Humanities, Technology

guns, MIT, research
Natural Causes Kill John Wick’s Yorkie-Doodle Mix. Pope Shits His Pointy Hat

Article, Pets, Religion

dogs, God, John Wick, murder, pope
ICE-Displaced Criminals Start “Fictional” Crime Podcast “Only Murders in Your Neighborhood”

Article, Media, Police Beat

crime, ICE, podcast