Look at me. Look, right in my sexy lady eyes. Don’t look away. I’m the future…

of satirical journalism parading as satirical journalism embellishing the bullshit that is real journalism, and I’m going to rock your world of journalistic inexcellence. So excellent, it’s in-excellent. Boom. Clean up on Aisle 3, your pants.

We have a deep bench of reporters tackling really smart subjects for our readers. And as soon as our writers write, we’ll tell you what they’re going to write about that will blow your damned britches right off that hand-me-down dresser of yours.