Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

Daily Life

Janet Yellen Drops New Hip-Hop Track as Dolla-Dolla Fed’Ye feat. Lil Fed & Gov. Da Bank

Article, Media

Ben Bernanke, Federal Reserve Bank, hip-hop, Janet Yellen, music video
VNR QUIZ: Were You Cleopatra In a Past Life, or Just a Cockroach in Jersey?

Article, Daily Life, Society and Humanities

cleopatra, listicle, quiz, roach
Mid-50s, Overweight, Balding, Divorced, Emotionally Crippled, Absentee-Father is Sure Zendaya is “The One That Got Away”

Article, Dumpster Fires, Media, Society and Humanities

stalking, Zendaya
Not To Be Outdone by Netflix, God Raises Monthly Subscription Tithes

Article, Business, International News, Media, Religion, technology

God, money, Netflix, pope, subscription rates, tithe
How Billy Zane’s Fashion Daddy Destroyed Me

Article, Daily Life

bad luck, Billy Zane, black man, shoes
On “Potatoes Today”: How to Apologize for Cheating on Your Wife

Article, Media

apology, cheating, fickenjhümpen, hussies, potatoes, wife
Paramount Taps Donald Trump to Headline as Floppy Missile in “Oops I Trumped My Pants 2: Iran So Far Away”

Article, Media

camel, Donald Trump, Paramount
Reviews of the New “Melania” Film Are In

Article, Daily Life, Society and Humanities

Melania, movies
Fourth Grade Art Fair Kills Twelve, Wounding 3, Others Declared Criminally Insane

Article, Daily Life, Police Beat

art, art fair, Cthulhu, Miskatonic
The Video Club Reviews: Early Hanna-Barbara Pilot, The Buttstones

Article, Media

fart, farts
The Vidalia News Recorder Wins Silver Davey Award for “General: Strange and Unusual” Content

Article, Media, Press Release

Davey Award, Press Release
Tech Moguls Launch New Lookalike Sex Bots: Tickle-Me-Jezebels

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance, technology

bond villains, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, sex bot, sex work, tech Moguls, technology, Zuckerberg
4 Reasons Green Beans are the Assholes of the Vegetable World

Article, Editorial, Scullery & Swill, Society and Humanities

Asshole, green beans, smug
Anne Hathaway Models Tom’s Hardware Pocket Protectors for Nerds. Dorks Outraged

Article, fashion, Promotional Content, Society and Humanities

Anne Hathaway, dorks, nerds, pocket protectors, Tom Hardware, Tom’s Hardware
USDA, FDA with DHS, CBP, BOP Create Food Rating: Soylento Greeno

Article, Politics, Scullery & Swill

soylent green, Soylento Greeno, Soylento gringo