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Sensual Snoring All The Rage

Article, Daily Life, Science

catgirls, pope, sensual snoring, sheep, snores, snoring
Local Tribal Nation and Whitey Announce Joint Creation of MLB Expansion Team, “The Fighting Caucs”

Article, Business, Sports

baseball, cocaine, double entendre, mayonnaise, racism, splooge, technology, the man, whiteness
Undercover at Dracula’s 418th Annual Charitable Gala for Sexy Strippers that Inexplicably Go Missing – Pt 1

Article, Local News, Police Beat

Dracula, sex work, sexy strippers
Sexually Abused Child of Drunkard Definitely Happy Abortion Outlawed

Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial, Journalism and Ethics, Not Funny, pioneering child journalism, Religion

abortion, GOP Jesus, rape, sexual assault
Cease and Desist Notice to Future Bae, The Onion News Network

Article, Business, Dumpster Fires, Journalism and Ethics, Relationships and Romance, VNR Law Review

cease & desist, onn, the onion
Romance Octagon: 10 Easy Questions to Tell if He Thinks You’re a Fuck Face

Article, Relationships and Romance

fuck face, fuckface, love, romance, Valentine’s Day
Poetry Corner: An Ode to Avoidance of Yon Routine

Article, Daily Life, Poetry Corner, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2120, masturbation, poetry
Ask a Nut Butter Specialist: “I Want to Be an Asshole But I Can’t Afford a BMW.”

Article, Ask a Nut Butter Specialist, Dumpster Fires, Etiquette

Asshole, cars, driving, Elon Musk, Jeep, rich assholes, Tesla, trucks
What’s Wrong with You, You Degenerate Fuck Sticks?

Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial

Asshole, cable, cult, Donald Trump, election, fuck you, gop, JD Vance
The Bear is Tired of Being Chosen. All Fucked Out.

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance

bear, choosing the bear, crink-crink, gender equality, gender politics, ladies, stink-stink
Shakira Announces Plan to be Woo’d by Middling Staff Writer of Satirical News Source

Article, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance

crink-crink, onn, settling, Shakira, the onion, Vidalia News Recorder, VNR
Trump Supports the Sanctity of Marriage by Claiming the Right of Prima Nocta

Article, Daily Life, Politics, Religion

Donald Trump, gop, GOP Jesus, JD Vance, penis, prima Nocta, Religion
VNR Announces: Dear Boo, We Are Your Husband’s Thirst Trap

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Secret Relationships: Uncovered, Society and Humanities

thirst trap, Vidalia News Recorder, VNR
Not All Articles are Winners, Okay?! Gosh!!

Apologies and Retractions, Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial

apology, brand management, Journalism, just be nice, RFK Jr, vodka
Sponsored Article: The VNR Announces Our New Large-Batch, Double Cheesy Shrimp Burrito Vodka

Article, Promotional Content, Scullery & Swill

burrito, cheese, shrimp, vodka