Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

Ask the Internet

Relationships and Romance

Tech Moguls Launch New Lookalike Sex Bots: Tickle-Me-Jezebels

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance, technology

bond villains, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, sex bot, sex work, tech Moguls, technology, Zuckerberg
Wendy’s Announces New Dating App: The Bacon-Mater

Article, Promotional Content, Relationships and Romance, technology

app, bacon, Bacon-Mater, dating, online dating, Wendy’s
Taylor Swift Ditches The VNR to Marry Some Hunk Who’s Probably a Hot Football Player with a Podcast

Article, Media, Relationships and Romance, Society and Humanities

Swifty, Taylor Swift
Fitful Flatulence Forces Fate’s Fist in Furious Flash for Fervent Father’s Final Farewell

Article, Relationships and Romance, Religion

church, farts
VNR Editorial: It’s Never Been Easier For Men to Date

Article, Relationships and Romance

dating, dirt bag, marriage, romance
Vidalia News Recorder Announces Bespoke Breakup Service

Article, Relationships and Romance

breakup services, Elon Musk
AARP Announces New Porn Company: Silver Fox Seductions

Article, Media, Promotional Content, Relationships and Romance

AARP, medicinal porn, porn, pornologic, Silver Fox Seductions
Cease and Desist Notice to Future Bae, The Onion News Network

Article, Business, Dumpster Fires, Journalism and Ethics, Relationships and Romance, VNR Law Review

cease & desist, onn, the onion
Romance Octagon: 10 Easy Questions to Tell if He Thinks You’re a Fuck Face

Article, Relationships and Romance

fuck face, fuckface, love, romance, Valentine’s Day
The Bear is Tired of Being Chosen. All Fucked Out.

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance

bear, choosing the bear, crink-crink, gender equality, gender politics, ladies, stink-stink
Shakira Announces Plan to be Woo’d by Middling Staff Writer of Satirical News Source

Article, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance

crink-crink, onn, settling, Shakira, the onion, Vidalia News Recorder, VNR
VNR Announces: Dear Boo, We Are Your Husband’s Thirst Trap

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Secret Relationships: Uncovered, Society and Humanities

thirst trap, Vidalia News Recorder, VNR
Ask a Nut Butter Specialist: 10 Red Flags and How to Avoid Them, with Nut Butter

Article, Ask a Nut Butter Specialist, Editorial, Etiquette, Relationships and Romance, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

almond butter, birds, cashew butter, crink-crink, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2056, Eugene Levy, peanut butter, red flags, stink-stink
Brand Management Theory by 7y old Trevor McSchmedrickson

Article, pioneering child journalism, Relationships and Romance

brand management
Comcast Apologizes for Abusing You. Wants to Bring Her Friend Over to “Make it Up to You.”

Article, Promotional Content, Relationships and Romance

cable, Comcast, Commie