Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

March 2025

Pope’s Health Recovers From Illness Caused by Your Sinful Masturbation

Article, Religion, technology

hospital, masturbation, medicine, penitentbacteriophages, pneumonia, pope, Popeumonia, slut-rays
Word Search – Know Your Military Acronyms

Sunday Puzzle

acronyms, military, military acronyms
ATI: Why Did Russia Invade the Ukraine

Ask The Internet

Russia, Ukraine
Ask VNR: How Have Recent Tech Changes Prevented You From Ending All Life on Earth?

Article, Ask VNR

Cthulhu, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1889, technology
The VNR Adjusts Tone of Articles After Dept of Ed Closing

Article, Politics, Staff Writers

Dept of education, DoE, Donald Trump, dumb shit
Crossword – List of New Magazines from Silver Fox Seductions

Sunday Puzzle

AARP, Silver Fox Seductions
BREAKING NEWS: Tesla Recalls 46000 Cybertrucks Claiming Non-Purposeful Customer Deaths Might Hurt Nazi Image

Article, Business, Dumpster Fires, Local News, Politics, technology

Cybertruck, Elon Musk, Karoline Leavitt, Tesla
ATI: Who’s the Biggest Purchaser of Glitter?

Ask The Internet

glitter, Voldemort, Navy, Lindsay Graham
The Fabled Axe of Olive Garden Stems Tide of Unlicensed Satiristy and Satirical Merchandising

Article, Daily Life, interviews, Promotional Content

merch, Qwuandor, satirical astrology, Satiristy, Satirophistry, The Fabled Axe of Olive Garden
Cryptogram – What Did FDR Say About Fear?

Sunday Puzzle

Cave of Caerbannog, FDR, fear
ATI: Could a penis carry a coconut to medieval England?

Ask The Internet
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE: What Crazy Shit did Trump Say at The State of the Union Address?

Article, CYOA, Politics

Black History Month, Donald Trump, State of the Union, White History Month, whiteness
Your Thoughts on Severance S2, E9 Spoilers?

Ask The Internet

severance
ATI: What is the movie “Anora” about?

Ask The Internet
Ask VNR: What Would Be Your Opening Sentence In Your Unauthorized Autobiography?

Article, Ask VNR, Media, Society and Humanities

dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1867, jobs, onn, the onion