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Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

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Sexually Abused Child of Drunkard Definitely Happy Abortion Outlawed

Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial, Journalism and Ethics, Not Funny, pioneering child journalism, Religion

abortion, GOP Jesus, rape, sexual assault
Cease and Desist Notice to Future Bae, The Onion News Network

Article, Business, Dumpster Fires, Journalism and Ethics, Relationships and Romance, VNR Law Review

cease & desist, onn, the onion
Poetry Corner: An Ode to Avoidance of Yon Routine

Article, Daily Life, Poetry Corner, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2120, masturbation, poetry
Not All Articles are Winners, Okay?! Gosh!!

Apologies and Retractions, Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial

apology, brand management, Journalism, just be nice, RFK Jr, vodka
Ask a Nut Butter Specialist: 10 Red Flags and How to Avoid Them, with Nut Butter

Article, Ask a Nut Butter Specialist, Editorial, Etiquette, Relationships and Romance, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

almond butter, birds, cashew butter, crink-crink, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2056, Eugene Levy, peanut butter, red flags, stink-stink
An Apology to Our Readers. We Got Scooped.

Apologies and Retractions, Article, Journalism and Ethics, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

apology, breasts, crime, Glen Powell, Journalism, onn, Sydney Sweeney, the green lady, the onion
Brand Management Theory by 7y old Trevor McSchmedrickson

Article, pioneering child journalism, Relationships and Romance

brand management
Pioneering Child Journalism

Article, pioneering child journalism

glory holes, pioneering child journalism, sharks, world banking
Asshole Journalist too High Brow for Wikipedia Cites Twitter and Calls it Journalism

Article, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

Asshole, Journalism, social media
Which Condoms are Safe for the Workplace

Article, Etiquette, Staff Writers

condoms, fashion, Work place etiquette
Gary LeTrans, Editor in Chief, Resigns

Article, Staff Writers

Chevy Nova, cocaine, Ford Galaxie, Gary LeTrans, smurfs

Our $3.50 AI robot will do Anything for search… but he woooon’t do that.
No, no. No he wooon’t do that.

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