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Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

Ask the Internet

November 2024

Sexually Abused Child of Drunkard Definitely Happy Abortion Outlawed

Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial, Journalism and Ethics, Not Funny, pioneering child journalism, Religion

abortion, GOP Jesus, rape, sexual assault
Cease and Desist Notice to Future Bae, The Onion News Network

Article, Business, Dumpster Fires, Journalism and Ethics, Relationships and Romance, VNR Law Review

cease & desist, onn, the onion
Romance Octagon: 10 Easy Questions to Tell if He Thinks You’re a Fuck Face

Article, Relationships and Romance

fuck face, fuckface, love, romance, Valentine’s Day
Poetry Corner: An Ode to Avoidance of Yon Routine

Article, Daily Life, Poetry Corner, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2120, masturbation, poetry
Ask a Nut Butter Specialist: “I Want to Be an Asshole But I Can’t Afford a BMW.”

Article, Ask a Nut Butter Specialist, Dumpster Fires, Etiquette

Asshole, cars, driving, Elon Musk, Jeep, rich assholes, Tesla, trucks
What’s Wrong with You, You Degenerate Fuck Sticks?

Article, Dumpster Fires, Editorial

Asshole, cable, cult, Donald Trump, election, fuck you, gop, JD Vance
The Bear is Tired of Being Chosen. All Fucked Out.

Article, Daily Life, Dumpster Fires, Relationships and Romance

bear, choosing the bear, crink-crink, gender equality, gender politics, ladies, stink-stink

Our $3.50 AI robot will do Anything for search… but he woooon’t do that.
No, no. No he wooon’t do that.

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