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Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.

Ask the Internet

August 2024

The VNR’s Best, Definitely-Real-Human of the Week: Aug 30, 2024

Article, Definitely Real Human Awards

Ayn Rand, beta-cuck, definitely-real-human, Q-Anon, Twitter
An Apology to Our Readers. We Got Scooped.

Apologies and Retractions, Article, Journalism and Ethics, Society and Humanities, Staff Writers

apology, breasts, crime, Glen Powell, Journalism, onn, Sydney Sweeney, the green lady, the onion
Summertime Inspirational Thoughts from Tantric Shaman Goddesses, Tiffany and Aaron

Article, Society and Humanities

goddess, goddesses, motivation, peanut butter, therapy, xenomorph
NASA Sends Baby Squid Into Space Preferring to Avoid the Term “Random Shit”

Article, Science

Bluntozorp, NASA, rich assholes, space
Ask a Nut Butter Specialist – Aug. 2024

Article, Ask a Nut Butter Specialist

cocaine, crink-crink, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2026, Eugene Levy, Greta Thunberg, peanut butter
Men Ask: When Should I Start Masturbating on Office Zoom Meetings

Article, Business, Dumpster Fires, Society and Humanities

masturbation, White Poupon, work from home, Zoom

Our $3.50 AI robot will do Anything for search… but he woooon’t do that.
No, no. No he wooon’t do that.

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