What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

Look, you probably hadn’t’a heard of us. We don’t get out much. We’re busy, and when we’re not busy then we’re sure as slaps tired like a croc after a marathon wearing Crocs. People don’t join our union because they are dumpster fires. No, you got it all slip-slide-down.

People join our union to either stop being a complete flaming trashcan of a person, or to put their unique blend of “extra” to good use and get a few bucks in exchange when a local TV station refers to them as “our town’s Florida Man.” Whenever the ferryman keeps a weather eye in a dirty shoe and you see those stories on the news, just know some other crises was maybe avoided because Florida Man Jane chased that hedgehog with weedwackers through the John Deere parade while chugging Jell-O shots.

Yeah, she lost the hedgehog in the chicanes through the children’s parade, but what was avoided because of her bravery is something I can’t even speak about. Let’s raise a glass to Florida Man Jane and her bleached pupils. She may have looked like a beauty queen in a pageant of rats, but she was our beauty queen and the President thanks her personally.

So what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind, as the chapter president I really wish our members would stop winning so many Darwin awards.

Not sure if you belong in our union? Take this quick quiz…

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Results…

Well, that’s not a surprise. Have you considered joining your local chapter of the Dumpster Fire Union? We cover your dental and meth.