Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.


The VNR Adjusts Tone of Articles After Dept of Ed Closing

Editor's Note: Ummm, if you can't read now then this note will be useless. If however, you're on the way to a blissful yet dystopic state of illiteracy then you've come to the right rite place. We here at the Vidalia News Recorder are all too keenly aware of the difficulties of juggling "living your best life" and literacy. Let's face it... reading can be hard. It sucks, #amirightbro? Therefore we're committed to changing the tone of our articles to match the impending literacy standards. 

tl;dr... ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ“š, โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿคณ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿ’‹

Hey ๐Ÿซ…๐Ÿ‘ธ! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

OMG, did u ๐Ÿง  that the ๐Ÿ›๏ธ of ๐Ÿง‘โ€๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ“š is ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ“‰.

Like, โ‰๏ธโ‰๏ธ

Its giving such ๐Ÿฅ€๐Ÿ’€

Now wut โณโŒ›?

๐Ÿš—-oline leavett ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿšซ; ๐ŸŽบ๐Ÿ’ฏ

๐Ÿ‘๏ธโ€๐Ÿ—จ๏ธ guessโ“ no ๐Ÿšซ more ๐Ÿง‘โ€๐Ÿซ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“– or ๐Ÿงฎ or โž•โž–โž—๐ŸŸฐ

Sucks… I wuz gunna โœ๏ธ๐Ÿ“ a  famous ๐Ÿ“•.

But no more ๐Ÿ“š!!!

Thanks ๐ŸŽบ!

๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿ˜ถ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคง๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿซฅ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅโ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‹

Okay, This article is getting ๐Ÿ’ฉ๐Ÿฅฑ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’€

CU ๐Ÿ‘‹๐ŸŠ