Did you know that Twitter has moments of decency? Did you know that there are people on Twitter who AREN’T raging douchebags? It’s fucking crazy!! We didn’t know this either until we came across something we discovered. Apparently on Twitter there are things called, “Definitely-Real-Humans.”
These accounts are controlled by people that are:
- Humans
- Real
- Definitely all of the above. fer sure
Definitely-real-humans are people that know the value of salt on french-fries, or how doughnuts can save the world. On the other end of the spectrum are people that are definitely NOT real humans. You can identify them because they exhibit these behaviors:
- Create listicles of interior decorating ideas for Steve Bannon’s retreat on Martha’s Vineyard that makes copious use: of macaroni art, anal plugs in the shapes of The Village People, gluten-free candles, and wallpaper of pictures showcasing Hitler in a diaper and black lingerie
- Write snarky articles for a ludicrously fake, news satire sites
- Create Go-Fund-Me accounts for Q-Anon COVID research relying on lib’rul tears or anything mentioning beta-cucks
- Write Op-Ed pieces for the NYT about making America Great Again and not even discussing the important role of doughnuts as part of a proper diet
- Promote the socio-economic policies of Ayn Rand without discussing her world-famous bazoombas or her nutrition meal replacements that taste like crushing capitalism
- Promotes the idea of race-traitors while ironically not realizing their role as human-traitors by being the dumbest of dumb shits
Well, we found one definitely-real-human who tweeted a twit that recommends a good treatment facility for anyone struggling with cancer. That’s pretty great. It could help people in need, and asks for nothing in return.
Thank you @saramikaila for not making the human-race worse, and indeed for trying to make it better.
— The Editorial Board at, The VNR
Vidalia News Recorder 