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Biology Quiz – Identify Newly Discovered Nightmare Spider Anatomy

Editor's Note: This will likely be the last puzzle for a while. Our funding grant for morally questionable satirical puzzles is running out with the closing of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

A new spider was recently discovered. It is an unsightly chimera born of nightmares, indigestion, and a bad Ayahuasca trip from a member of the Conservative Coalition for Christian Banishment of Immigrants. They also happen to be a proud future serial killer for 2a rights.

… Correction.

Ya, sorry bout that mate. It’s our bad, really. We honestly should’ve looked at that and just KNOWN it came from Australia. Just yesterday we saw a roo with chainsaw hands, and nobody looked twice. We really wanted to give Australia a chance to NOT be the place where every monster comes from. Ah well…

This spider was recently discovered in Australia and it supposedly hunts large prey like: kangaroos on pingers, bombed-up blokes, double-dropped sheilas, shrimps on the barbies, and airplanes with lots of drugs.

To complete today’s puzzle, please review the spider and match the names of the body parts to the correct numbers.

Write the Number by the Correct Part

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Freedom Gland

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Pie Hole

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Web Squirter

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Stabbypositor

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Yummy Sac

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Phobia Receptor

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Mansplainer

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Ancestral Nightmares

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Fucking Creepy

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Thoracic Metabulizer

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Romance Apparatus

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Freudian Slip

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Jungian Archetype

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Ewwww, gross