Editor's Note: Great news! There's a sale at Macy's today, probably. Bad news? Our lead puzzle editor died, again. At this point we're kinda fed up with her shenanigans, always laying around, dying, not maximizing right-sized synergies for corporate togetherness practicums and strategies.
Which left us with the only person free today to make a puzzle, our resident dog lover. Apologies in advance
Anyone here have a cat? I used to. They’re great, until they try to kill you. Is there any cat that won’t try to kill you? That’s today’s puzzle! Which of these cats does not belong?!
1.
Asshole Cat
Planning your demise, above in the bushes, waiting to pounce… after you feed it.
2.
Golden Menace
As soon as you turn away, the knives come out and you’re literally seconds from death… after you feed it.
3.
Happy Kneader
It loves to stretch on your warm tummy, and purr, lulling you in to it’s hypnotic relaxation all while sharpening it’s claws to kill you… after you feed it.
4.
Space Cat
It comes from outer space, a child of the original space lords of the Kappa Alpha Theta quadrant, eternal enemies of the Delta Omega Gamma quadrant. It lives in the shadows of your mind where it will take physical shape and explode your brain… after you feed it.
5.
Comfy Cat
It took your chair, your throne, in your own home. At dinner it will steal your mead and wench, then your life… after you feed it.
6.
First Baseman Cat
This cat appears fun and feisty, like it’s ready to catch the runner at first for the double play, of death… after you feed it.
7.
Lumpy Garfield
Lumpy Garfield has already eaten your lasagna. Now it waits to trip you on the stairs when it will eat your paralyzed body… after you feed it.
8.
Shy Cat
This cat is so shy you forget to feed it… so it kills you. If only you’d fed it. As you lay dying, with your cat eating you, you realize the cat was already going to kill you after you fed it anyway. You feel better knowing you didn’t waste money on cat food, and then you die.
9.
Food Dish Cat
This cat comes stocked with its own food and glares at you, knowingly. It knows. You know it, and it knows you know… now you’re dead.
10.
Dab Cat
A friendly little dude cat. This fun loving cat loves to dab it up when meeting friends or making acquaintances. The Dab cat is usually out on the waves, where surf is life, planning your death… after you feed it.
11.
Harbinger of Ill Portents and Herald of Woes Cat
You guessed it, this cat is terrible at Yahtzee. So terrible that it will kill you… after you feed it.
12.
Gaping Maw Cat
Whoopsies! You just walked by this cat and accidentally fell completely in its gaping maw. It shouldn’t even be physically possible. Obviously, it will kill you… after you feed it.
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