Editor's Note: Our lead puzzle editor is really starting to stink, and it's become a hassle. We're trying not to be prejudiced against the unalived, but she hasn't moved a muscle in weeks and our Puzzlers are getting worse. If she doesn't shape-up by Halloween we may have to cancel the Puzzlers. While she's recovering, our Head Of the Dept of Healthy Masturbation for Single Men put this puzzle together. We're worried about what he fantasizes about. In fact, we should probably read his articles before blindly printing them. Huh... Then I really would be an editor, a big-boy editor.

It’s Sunday Puzzle Day BITCHES! Are you pumped?!?

From the metaphorical rotisserie oven spawning our nightmarish creativity–and need to self-medicate–comes a real brain teaser: a crossword puzzle of movies about aliens!!! This should provide all you single guys with hours of good, clean, masturbation inspiration. Oh yeah!! You know what they say: Stroke it till you smoke it!! Go aliens!!!