Satiricus News-Journalix. Democracy Dies in Money, and Monkey Semen.


Fallen Letters – Dracula Really Loves Music

Editor's Note: Great news about our deceased Lead Puzzle Editor, before she passed away doctors say she was able to save a bunch of money on her car insurance by switching to unfiltered menthols. Nope... That sounds wrong... Oh, the doctors say that she might be able to return to work if we can find the "Totem of Stop Being Dead Now Please." If found, please drop the totem in the mail and send it to us.

Hey Veenarian Puzzlers!!!

Today’s puzzle, until our deceased last puzzle editor can return, was created by our Literary Reviewer, Janice. She suffers from a mental illness called, “Crazy Pants,” so this quote may have extra parts.

Do you remember who played the kind of music Dracula liked, and at what time of the day?

And who is “Wolfie?”